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    7/30/2009

    angular momentum

    其实我不困,只是不想醒过来。

    夜深人静的时候比较容易听到烈日当头的时候听不到的声音。隔壁邻居的chitchat,校车的引擎,虫鸣,心跳,风扇的吱吱呀呀,骨骼与骨骼的碰撞,植物拔节的鸣响,走廊上总是让我产生错觉的脚步声。踢踢踏踏。呵呵,又不是。

    如果只是因为你什么都没看到就以为什么都没发生,这么世界将变得多么宁静祥和,人们将变得多么与世无争。

     

    她无时无刻不在想念每天早晨窝在自己的床上被从窗帘里透过的那一丝阳光沐浴全身的感觉,无时无刻不在思念那碗在锅里面扑腾扑腾的早餐,母亲用小火一直煨着等着她起来,无时无刻不思念穿着从衣柜里面翻出来的一年都没人动过的体恤从屋子的这头穿梭到那头,浇花,荡秋千,对着金鱼们说话。怀念她的书桌,门口的烧烤,楼下叮叮当当的裁缝铺,姥姥家的炒ong菜和炖海带,一路公交车和没有用完的车卡,没有坐成亮儿开的汽车去王府井看哈6。她就是没想通,怎么上午还在自己房间的飘窗上拍着一轮日食下的成都,下午就收拾行李提着拎着去赶飞机了呢

    她今天斩钉截铁的给电话那头说,放心,我这人最大的优点就是永远不会觉得孤独,不会觉得一个人闷,不会找不到事情把自己的生活塞的满满的。大不了什么也不干坐在街上冷眼看一群走兽来了又去,去了又来,然后觉得自己跟他们差不了什么然后满足的融入世俗的洪流。

    不是么。睁着眼睛是一天,闭着也是一天。她还有个理想。有理想就有前进的方向和为之奋斗的力量。啊,理想。。。

     

    若干年后,也许若干年后她还能记得自己给自己的承诺,然后厚颜无耻的告诉晚辈们说,当年我就是这么磕磕碰碰的走过来的。多么虚伪做作的情节。

    蝴蝶效应,戒骄戒躁,造化弄人,课没选到,但是瞬间明白了很多歪门邪道的道理。这就是人们所说的附加收获。这又是一个多么美好能让人迅速振作起来的道理。

    你不振作地球还是会转。多么美好的地球。

     

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    我向往的生活与我越走越远了……
    July 30

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